Why only being happy once your pain is ‘completely gone’ doesn’t work, and what to do instead

I was listening to someone on a podcast speak about how making money didn’t make them happier like they thought it would 

I’ve also listened to people on podcasts speaking about how weight lifting and getting stronger didn’t make them happy.. 

…or travelling the world didn’t make them happier 

…or a relationship didn’t make them happier

It seems a part of the human condition, that we pursue things thinking they'll make us happier, only to get the thing and feel no happier 

But why is that? 

The first layer of this comes in terms of what we’ve been exposed to, meaning we’re constantly told that fame, fortune and nice things will make us happy 

So it’s no wonder that we blindly follow this naive path to happiness 

However, another layer is not as superficial, and certainly seemingly more reasonable

• Which is the fact that relationships CAN make us happier, so why would we not pursue them?

• Money can give us more freedom to enjoy our life, so why would we not pursue it? 

• Getting fitter in the gym and travelling the world, can make us feel healthier and more fulfilled, so why would we not pursue either of these things? 

This represents one of the many great paradoxes of life 

How chasing happiness through relationships, wealth and health can be detrimental, but it also can fulfil us when we have those things 

So learning and cultivating the skill of being able to want something but not need it, becomes vital 

How can you want something but not need it? 

Follow this simple formula 

Intent + freedom from outcome = happiness 

Which means pursue things like relationships, health and wealth, but then learn how to accept the moment to moment outcome of your pursuits. 

This doesn't mean to settle for something that you don’t want 

It means that on the way to accumulating the wealth, health and relationship you want, accept it may not be a straight line to get there 

And that’s completely fine and normal 

By accepting that there will be bumps in the road, you will have a greater capacity to enjoy the journey, rather than running blindly to the destination

Only to be disappointed once you get there 

There’s an important lesson here in terms of getting lasting relief from chronic pain 

When you’re suffering with chronic symptoms, it can feel as if the only thing that will give you happiness is no longer having those symptoms 

Which of course is partly true 

But based on the formula above, if you blindly try to pursue a destination, without learning the lessons on the journey, you will endlessly be disappointed 

So you have to learn how to more wisely reach the ultimate goal of freedom from pain, by setting up incremental, more achievable, goals along the way. 

That’s what I do on my programmes, I give people personalised action plans custom made to set up incremental progress towards their goals 

They meet those goals by using the proven tools and methods on my programme, as well as the support and guidance from their peers in the community. 

Honestly, when I had IBS and back pain, I wish I had a community of like minded people all with similar goals in mind and the day to day strategies to achieve those goals 

If you’d like to find out more about joining the community, you can book a complimentary call with me by clicking the button below: