How Unresolved Conflicts Can Lead to Chronic Pain, Anxiety, and Depression—and What to Do About It

I’ll be honest—when I was dealing with chronic pain, the idea that unresolved conflicts could be part of the problem wasn’t even on my radar.

Like most people, I was focused on trying to fix my body: stretching, exercising, seeing specialists, taking supplements.

But nothing was working.

It wasn’t until I started looking deeper into my life—at the stress, the emotions I hadn’t processed, and the conflicts I’d been avoiding—that things began to change.

Conflicts don’t just live in our heads. They live in our bodies.

When we’re stuck in unresolved tension with someone—whether it’s a family member, a friend, or even a past version of ourselves—it can keep our nervous system on high alert.

And when that happens, it’s not uncommon for pain, anxiety, or depression to show up.

Think about it: have you ever been in a fight with someone and felt your stomach twist into knots or your chest get tight?

That’s your nervous system reacting.

Now imagine if that feeling didn’t go away. That’s what happens when conflicts remain unresolved—they simmer in the background, quietly affecting your body over time.

For me, it wasn’t just about present-day conflicts.

Sure, there were things happening in my life at the time that were stressful and unresolved, but a lot of my tension was coming from the past.

There were moments of rejection, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings from the past that I’d never resolved. Some of it even went all the way back to childhood—experiences that shaped how I saw myself and how I dealt with stress.

Here’s the thing: your nervous system is always trying to protect you.

It doesn’t care if the threat is a tiger chasing you or an argument you had five years ago. If it perceives danger, it reacts.

And that reaction? It can look like pain, anxiety, fatigue, or even depression.

But there’s good news.

When we resolve these conflicts—when we face what we’ve been avoiding or find ways to let go—our nervous system gets the message that it’s safe to relax.

That’s when healing can happen.

Now, I know this is easier said than done. I’ve been there. Resolving conflicts can feel overwhelming, especially if you don’t know where to start.

Maybe you’re avoiding a conversation because you’re afraid it’ll make things worse. Or maybe the other person just isn’t willing to meet you halfway.

Or maybe it’s something bigger, like unresolved emotions from the past that you haven’t figured out how to process yet.

The first step is just acknowledging it—naming the conflict and how it’s affecting you. That alone can bring some clarity. From there, you can start taking small steps toward resolution.

If this resonates with you, and you’re dealing with pain or anxiety that you just can’t shake, I’ve created a free 1-hour pain relief course.

In it, I talk about how unresolved emotions and conflicts contribute to pain and how you can start addressing them. It’s the exact kind of thing I wish I’d had when I was in the thick of it.

You can access the course and join our supportive community by clicking here.

Facing conflicts isn’t easy. But neither is living with chronic pain, anxiety, or depression. When you take the steps to resolve what’s been holding you back, your body starts to feel that shift.

And trust me, your body will thank you.